Immediately Tony could feel the tension returning, seeping into his limbs. He didn’t want to think about Deceiver. Didn’t want to have to remember the pain that was now associated with that name…
….no, not the same pain he had originally thought. Not anymore, at least.
Tony shifted to sit up more when Loki did, remaining close, keeping that hand at his neck, running it down his shoulder now, as his mind raced briefly ahead of everything, piecing everything together, putting logic into the tangled mess of actions and words that Loki offered up to him in his usual chaotic way.
He had lied about being with Deceiver, to an extent. They had indeed intended to be together, had taken steps toward it, but something had kept them from it, and Loki had decided to let him believe they had done the deed, in anticipation of the next time it happened, to save Tony from waiting for the pain to come around again.
So… in a way, it had been all for him. His stomach clenched a little, thinking of Bruce. He had… even though Loki hadn’t… but…
Not right now.
Tony lifted his free hand to tilt Loki’s face back toward him, leaning in to deliver another soft kiss to his mouth. “You had good intentions.” Their foreheads brushed again. “They just got a little jumbled up.” Another quiet kiss. “I just wish… Well. Maybe it is for the best, in the long run.” A small, fragile smile touched his lips. “Maybe we’ll see what we can do about getting Liesmith not to hate you anymore.”
Stolen away from the defensive shield of his palm, Loki returned the kiss with frustrated tears in his eyes, arm wrapping strongly around Tony’s waist to keep him close. The ache of his heart desperately pushing blood to his shaking limbs was almost overwhelming.
“My intentions matter little,” he sniffed, burying his face into Tony’s neck. “The fact is I lied. Again. And yes, there was reasoning… but there was also cowardice. Fear of being judged on the truth, of having my pride dented. I’ve manipulated you into changing the very nature of our relationship. Unforgivable. How can I rightly expect you to talk to me?”
Loki was rambling now that he’d opened the floodgates, quite like Tony himself often did. It was easier, at least, to speak his part without the shame of having to look the other in the eye— though still he wished he could have shown more courage. (So pathetic.)
“And to Hel with Liesmith. I can barely even stand the mention of him. Nothing has been right since he arrived on the scene. Nothing. Let him think what he will… either way, I’ll live. Besides… you’re back now.” Finally he pulled back to cutely Eskimo kiss Tony. “Home. And today is about you. Us. Finally I can show you why I went away…”